"Look at the legalized adultery we call divorce. Men marry one wife after another and are still admitted into good society; and women do likewise. There are thousands of supposedly respectable men in American living with other men's wives, and thousands of supposedly respectable women living with other women's husbands." - R. A. Torrey From R.A. Torrey's book How to Pray, pages 94-95

R.A. Torrey (1856-1928) was a very well-known Christian writer, evangelist, pastor, graduate of Yale University, and was also the superintendent of Moody Bible Institute for 19 years.

TRINITY BARS THE DIVORCED.; No Remarriage in the Church or Any of the Chapels.

The clergy of Trinity Church announced yesterday that under no circumstances will divorced persons be married by any of the clergy of that Episcopal parish, nor will such marriages be permitted either in the church at Wall Street and Broadway or in any one of the parish's eight chapels. The announcement was as follows:
View full article New York Times
December 7, 1904, Wednesday

Frequently Asked Questions, Comments and Arguments about Marriage Divorce & Remarriage


Do Not Judge / Where Is Grace?

 

Comment/question
It amazes me that a far bigger crime is placed on those who are married a second time than those in the church who committed adultery (which is all too quickly covered up)
Response
I don't believe any of us would ever think it ok to commit adultery OR to cover it up. The hypocrisy I see is that some believe extramarital adultery is in one camp----those type should be dealt with, but those who commit adultery through remarriage after a divorce---should be elevated to positions of leadership within a church if it "appears" they are faithful to "this" wife. That is a very confusing stance to me.......

 

This very stance is why the homosexual "Christians" are calling us HYPOCRITES! They see very clearly that remarriage is called adultery by Jesus, yet we say it is not adultery........yet we will come down pretty hard on other sexual sins 'within the camp'. Personally, I believe it has become such because we KNOW people and LOVE people who are divorced and remarried and we think "surely those scriptures CAN'T mean what they say"....surely there has to be some grace extended towards THAT sin.

 

Where is our measurement of sin coming from---within our own reasonings, or according to the Lord's judgments?

 

Believe me, I would be very happy if you can show that the marriages which take place after a divorce, which are named by Jesus and Paul as adulterous unions, somehow come to be honored by God---the previous marriage dissolved. That's what I used to believe, but I can no longer hold to such a view in light of the Words of Jesus and Paul on the matter. I believe it was the Lord Himself who showed me the inequity of judgment within the Church on the issue of sexual sin/illicit relationships. I can see nothing but hypocrisy now----especially when I see big named ministries fighting so hard against homosexuality, yet remaining deafeningly quiet on the issue of church sanctioned adultery.

What Ron said about those on the "outside" is an important facet and consideration not only in leadership issues, but in our dealings with sin overall within our ranks. The "world" is watching us......watching to see if what we speak lines up with what we do.

 

Comment/question
Is it ok to get married when one is divorced?

 

I have mixed feelings about this. I know you're going to disagree but I think it is unreasonable to ask someone to spend the rest of their life alone just because (for example) their spouse did not live up to their vows in some major way (causing divorce) or chose to initiate the divorce.
Response
I am grieved that anyone who professes to follow Jesus would say such a thing. Jesus has spoken on the matter and He HAS said that to enter into a marriage after divorce is to commit adultery. Did He understand human loneliness? Of course He did, yet He also led Paul to reaffirm His teachings on the matter: If a woman does depart, she is to remain UNMARRIED OR be reconciled to her husband and a husband is NOT to put his wife away (I Corinthians 7:10-11)? Why must we honor this in spite of loneliness---BECAUSE we say we love the Lord and because when we marry our first marriage partner, we are joined for life. Only death will free one to marry again (Romans 7:2-3, I Corinthians 7:39).

 

Comment/question
As a side note - People like to think there is "spouse stealing" going on here. Let me clear that up quickly. You throw out what you consider garbage and it winds up in another person's house because it wasn't garbage but actually a find piece of furniture, don't run around now accusing someone of stealing from you. You threw it away!!!

 

Anything you abuse, you will lose!!!!
Response
The problem here #1 is that some spouses did NOT throw away the other spouse, but another party entered the scene and gave cause for a marriage not to be worked on. Problem #2---you have completely left God out of the equation. HE joins the two as One.........only HE can separate that and He chooses to do so at death.

 

Just because 1 or even 2 are in agreement to the disposition of the marriage does not mean that God is ok with it. That is the problem you have in all your reasonings. You think man holds sway over God. If, one truly belongs to Jesus, their life is no longer their own. Their "happiness" is not a driving force----unless they have reclaimed their life back from the Lord. If one belongs to the Lord, it is HIS will one desires to do, not their own. If one belongs to the Lord, it is their DESIRE to love the brethren, not to defraud the brethren by taking each other's spouses......

 

IF one belongs to the Lord, their ultimate desire, though they may stumble at times, is ultimately to be like Jesus and do the Will of the Father in Heaven...............and He is a covenant keeper.

 

One of the signs of the last days nature of man is that they are "covenant breakers"........they have a form of godliness, yet lack the power thereof. (II Tim. 3-4). What I see in the forsaking of marriages in the Christian community is a lack of faith----there is NO power, just flesh----"I'm not happy, and I want what I want"........ Faith, true saving faith, walks out I Cor. 13 though it is uncomfortable to the flesh. They BELIEVE the impossible..............They TRUST the Lord with all their hearts.........They are LONG suffering, knowing that if the do not "grow weary in well doing", there WILL be a reward.

 

Covenant breaking ultimately is because people do not want to suffer........they flee it and then because they flee it, the Lord is not able to conform them in His image.......they do not want to die to self for the good of the kingdom and others, they want to live----for themselves. They do not want to be partakers in the sufferings of Christ........

 

Some may say that is judgmental. Maybe so, but I believe that is the underlying issue in all "professing" Christian divorces. They divorce because their is a lack of faith and trust in the Lord........They do what they KNOW is displeasing to the Lord due to circumstances and then try to make excuses for their sin against the Lord and others.

 

Comment/question
I am so very glad that God is more merciful and forgiving than people. I am truly thankful that I will be judged by Him and not some Pharisaical Christians.
Response
The Lord will judge using the same thing we are called to judge by WITHIN the church---His Word. It's not being "pharisaical" to rely upon the Lord's Word for direction/correction/encouragement/chastisement----it is what we should live by as followers of Jesus Christ----otherwise we are no different than the heathen who believe if their "good" works outweigh their "bad" works they will make it to heaven, cause God is a nice and fair God.

 

Yet, what does the Word of God say? In Mt. 7:21-23 Jesus says that not everyone who says "Lord, Lord, shall enter the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of the Father which is in heaven. MANY in that day shall say, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then I will profess unto them, I never knew you; depart from me, ye that work INIQUITY.

 

Jesus also says in Jn. 14:23: If a man loves me, he WILL keep my words; and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. He that loveth me NOT, keepeth NOT my sayings; and the word which ye hear is NOT MINE, BUT THE FATHER'S which sent me.

 

If Jesus says that to divorce and marry another while one has a living spouse is adultery (having unlawful relations with one who is NOT your spouse)........why do we think that Jesus WILL bless this? Are His words not from the Father Himself passed down to those who say they love the Lord?

 

Comment/question
I'm sorry, but I can't help but view some of the replies from the no-remarriage people as usually totally lacking compassion. I know, they'd say that it has to do with the letter of the law, so to speak. But Jesus was not so far into the law that He missed the spirit of the law and also people along the way. I maintain my view that if a couple divorces there is no reason why they must be further punished by having to live alone or else reconcile (especially when there has been abuse). There is no love in that at all. When I look at the rest of the Scriptures (and yes I've read them, twice so far) I do not see a God who would tell me that I must suffer for my spouse's sin for the rest of my life.
Response
Each of us has the freedom to take the Word of God and apply it to the lives we say are IN CHRIST, or we have the freedom to explain away whatever is not pleasant for us. Many have explained away the Words of the Lord----that is why we see the growing acceptance of homosexuality in the church as well as rampant divorce/remarriage. Most people, scripture teaches, will follow the broad road of destruction. If we love our brethren, we should encourage each other to walk the narrow path.

 

Comment/question
I do think a lot of people don't see the spirit behind a lot of what has been said in scripture. I mean to say that people that re-marry and are happy will never enter the gates of heaven is a little black and white to me.

 

Separation I guess is okay, but BOY if you divorce and possiblity go on with your life down the road are you in BIG trouble! Personally, I think the spirit of what is being said is lost in alot of people's translations. I am sure it will stay that way also for them.

 

I also have a really hard time with the idea of you have one chance at love as a couple, and then forever more it will forbidden fruit for you. Then you have those that have one person struggling to keep it alive, and is left behind...always be alone forever because of this forbidden fruit of "only once"!
Response
Don’t you think the Lord knew ALL the differing scenarios of marriage and all the sins involved in marital relationships, yet He said what He said ("remain unmarried or be reconciled" and "whosoever divorces and marries another commits adultery).

 

Yes, God is love..........His is AGAPE love......that is the love those in Christ are expected to extend to others-----especially those whom the Lord joined us with. When we walk in God's love, Agape love, we WILL remain committed no matter what sin comes against us----because we desire and place that person's good above our own. We must also remember that God has called us to obedience and the "dying to self". The scripture "it is no longer I that live, but Christ who lives within me" is what EVERY Christian should aspire to in their walk with the Lord. When we live for Christ, we "die to self" we do not justify what we "should have"..........we acknowledge our circumstances that we DO have and live to the Glory of Christ.

 

Comment/question
"we should encourage each other to walk the narrow path."

 

So my fellow Christans should encourage me to either a.) remain in an emotionally abusive marriage or b.) remain alone for the rest of my life with no chance of remarriage or to have children? There is NO love in that. I do not believe that I must be punished for the rest of my life because of my husband's sin.
Response
We Christians should encourage each other to continue following Christ; to not turn away from Him and His commands because they are too hard to bear. When we follow Him, even down lonely, dark pathways, HE will enable us to accomplish those hard things set before us........many times He sends brothers and sisters to come alongside and encourage a faltering saint to PERSEVERE.

 

Comment/question
God is not waiting at the door to point His finger in condemnation. It seems that many here would take that position, however, which is sad.
Response
No, you are quite wrong. Many who believe in the permanency and sanctity of the "one flesh" marriage joined by God do NOT believe that abuse is AOK with God. What many of us have issue with is the mindset that if someone "feels" abused or actually is, then they now have the freedom not only to "depart" (I Cor. 7:10-11), now they feel they have the right to be joined with another partner who may be "nicer", more "godly", etc. Scripture is very clear that if a woman DOES depart, she is to remain UNMARRIED or be reconciled to her husband. She is NOT free to marry another and if she chooses to do so, she will then enter into an adulterous relationship, since the LORD still views the "one flesh" marriage as binding. We can call ourselves remarried "legally", but that does not mean that God will recognize it as such. He is not bound to agree with us.........we are however, bound to agree with Him, if we truly do belong to Him.

 

Comment/question
You can all quote as many scriptures as you want to but the bottom line is the decisions we make are between that person and God....

 

You can all attack me with scripture if you like but I am going to do what I feel God wants me to do after all I am the one who will face him for the decisions I make not any of you....

 

There are people out here who do understand....we can all quote scripture, but until you are in another's place you really can't understand....I learned that....when I use to say I know how you feel, I really didnt' cause I had never been there.....and I am not attacking those who quote the scripture....I think we all know what it says even those who arent' saved....and if you are so unhappy how can you serve God....you can't not to me anyway.....hope I did not offend anyone not my intention......God bless you all.
Response
Yes, we ALL will do what is in our hearts to do whether it is in line with the Word of God or not and yes, we each will stand before God for those choices we make. Some of the choices we make that ARE in line with God's Word/Will will be things that do NOT make us happy, yet what we will have is TRUE PEACE with God.

 

Some things we choose, on the other hand, will bring us "temporal" happiness, but we will not have TRUE peace with God if we are walking in opposition to His Word/Will. Jesus said that those who seek to save their lives(live for themselves, not for Him) will LOSE their lives. He also said that those who LOSE their lives (live for Him, not themselves) will save their lives.

 

If we are to have the mindset that only when we are "happy" can we serve God, I would ask you this: How did/do those who are living under severe persecution LIVE for God---being that they are surely not "happy"? The truth of the matter is that those who have sacrificed their own happiness/desires/wants in favor of following the Lord even into dangerous/life threatening situations where there is no "happiness", have done more for the kingdom of God than all the "happy" Christians put together.

 

Lest I be seen as a "martyr wanna be", that is not my mindset either. I don't believe in self-flagellation (punishing/inflicting pain on oneself to prove their worthiness before God), but what I do see in scripture is that the God, the One True God, does not guarantee "happiness" in this life, nor is it His intended purpose for those who follow Him. What He desires is obedience and trust in whatever situation He has allowed into our lives..........and yes, I believe God does allow first spouses that are 'not good'.......but what He desires for those who name His name is to see beyond their situation, to BELIEVE IN HIM and to TRUST in HIM-----that with obedience, trust and faith, that the Lord CAN change a marriage----in HIS TIME, not ours. Our good and reasonable service to Him is to follow Him----NO MATTER WHAT WE SEE BEFORE US in the physical realm.

 

Comment/question
I believe it's appalling that someone would tell a woman that God will release her from an abusive marriage IF and ONLY IF her husband sleeps with another woman. And it's even more appalling to tell her that God sentences her to a life of condemnation, loneliness, and single parenthood (if there were children from the first marriage) because of the actions of her abusive husband. Actions that she had no control over.

 

We have to understand the heart of God before we can truly understand his Word. The Pharisees' biggest problem was they did not understand the heart of God. They knew the letter of the Law but they refused to listen to Jesus when he tried to explain the reasons BEHIND the Law. Christians today who quote scripture without attempting to understand the reason behind it ARE being like the Pharisees. It's an ugly truth but it's there. God himself knows I've been guilty of it, and he knows I still feel the grief in my spirit like a knife when I remember the times I've sat in judgment and condemnation over others when I whole-heartedly believed I was rightly dividing his Word. Matthew 12:7 If you had known what these words mean, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice,' you would not have condemned the innocent.
Response
To apply the Word of God in our lives BECAUSE we understand His very heart on the issue IS important. I agree. I do find it quite ironic that the two sides of this issue think the other side does not understand God's heart, therefore is walking in opposition to His Will. One or both sides are wrong.

 

Those who say the no remarriage camp is without "grace/judgmental, etc" towards those who decide remarriage is ok--------can I ask if you feel that those who decide to "move on" ARE filled with Grace, mercy, etc toward the spouse who offended them? Does not Mt. 12:7 spoken by the Lord, apply to them who are caught up in their sin? Are they not in need of "Grace and Mercy"..............as all of us were when we were walking in darkness or is Grace and Mercy only extended to the "nice/"innocent"? Why is it that in other "hard" things we will stand up and say "yes Lord, we will do this because you told us to!", yet, when the Lord says "if a woman departs, she MUST REMAIN UNMARRIED OR BE RECONCILED and A HUSBAND MUST NOT PUT AWAY HIS WIFE" (I Cor. 7:10-12)..........many say, "well, I have EXTENUATING circumstances, the Lord will understand"............Will He?

 

There are many today who are painting a truly false picture of our Saviour..........When He came the first time it was to SAVE.............WHEN He comes again, it will be to judge sin. We must remember that and that BECAUSE OF SIN, many, many will perish----eternally (Eph. 5:1-10, Rev. 11:15-18). When we preach the Gospel, we need to preach ALL of it----including God's judgment of sin/rebellion/disobedience.

 

Comment/question
The position of opposition to remarriage is not pure. It supposes sin on the innocent and questions the motives and hearts of those involved.
Response
Not at all. The opposition to remarriage while one has a living spouse is due to scripture reaffirming this position. As to the "innocent", there are many innocent who suffer by following God's Will for their lives, rather than living for themselves. We are all called to FORGIVE those who offend us and use us. We are called to PRAY for them and not retaliate. Is having our hands bound (not being able to retaliate), fair---in the minds of man? Yet this is exactly what followers of Jesus are called to----even if we suffer in the temporal we are promised a reward eternally.

 

Comment/question
The position of opposition to remarriage is not gentle. It is legalistic and unwarranted binding.
Response
So is calling a person who names the name of Christ to break off a long term relationship the Lord calls sin----whether it be pre-marital relations, homosexual relations, or adulterous relations----especially if children are involved. Some seem to draw the line at adultery, yet that is not the line the Lord draws for those who profess to know Him and follow Him..........He calls ALL who desire to follow Him to REPENT. It is not "legalistic", it is what God commands and it is our "reasonable service".

 

Comment/question
The position of opposition to remarriage is not reasonable. It goes against every concept of repentance and forgiveness given in the Scriptures.
Response
No, it does not go against scripture, it goes against man's reasonings of "fairness" and judgment of another person's sins against them. Man is quick to judge those who sin against him while many times not seeing his own fault/sin against others. As I said, self-justification in the Western Church is VERY prevalent, while forgiveness and not counting other's sins against them SHOULD be what prevails in the life of a believer.

 

Comment/question
"I desire mercy, not sacrifice"
Response
Malachi 2:13-17

 

13 "This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand.

 

14 "Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.
 

How does the priest in the above scripture "get right" with God? He is already covering the altar with his tears, yet the Lord rejects him? The Lord speaks of the 1st wife as the wife of the covenant, yet we do not see such speech concerning the 2nd? Why is that? I believe it is due to this truth: Rom. 7:2-3, I Cor. 7:39.........

 

Comment/question
You spiritualize this matter beyond what God does, in that the man and woman promise each other to keep themselves for each other. God witnesses this promise between the two people and endorses their union with His blessing while they keep those promises.
Response
I realize you believe I spiritualize this topic. I did previously see things "somewhat" as you do.

 

I believe as I've sought the Lord on this issue, He has greatly opened up my eyes to not only what the written Word states, and where many Pastors are contradictory/hypocritical in their teachings/practices on this issue, but what is His very heart on this issue. The fact remains that many proponents of the "lawfulness" of remarriage while one has a living spouse cannot explain away the meaning of Rom. 7:2-3 though I've seen many "words" on it. Go through commentaries and see what you find. Either they gloss right over it(saying that this is not a teaching on marriage)or skip those verses entirely. Why is that?

 

The truth is that Paul was addressing CHRISTIANS, not Jews living under the law. He again spoke of the permanency of marriage in I Cor. 7:39----again, to a CHRISTIAN audience. After a full discourse on marriage, he never once mentions it to be ok to remarry while one had a living spouse. Even in I Cor. 7:15, we cannot find such an allowance, though many "infer" that is what Paul meant, though he used a different word for "bondage" than he used in his teachings on the marriage "bond".

 

Then we go to Herod/Herodias----she divorced her husband Philip (the historical account of that relationship can be found in the writings of Josephus). Her divorce did not dissolve her marriage to Philip. Her remarriage (adultery/incestual relationship) to Herod did not dissolve her marriage to Philip. John clearly states that Herod HAS Philip's wife. This aligns with Paul's teachings in Rom. 7:2-3, which states that if a woman marries another while her husband is living, she SHALL be called an adulteress. Herodias was Philip's wife, not Herod's wife---in spite of the divorce, in spite of the remarriage (adultery)-----which also lines up with Jesus' teachings that if one divorces and remarries they commit adultery or if one marries one divorced, they commit adultery (because the Lord has not "loosed" the bond between the lawful couple.

 

Comment/question
Ok, then how do you explain David eating the showbread against the explicit written law of God? David was well aware of this law. Should he have even asked? Shouldn't he have refused the bread and held the Priest accountable for even allowing him to have it? After all, the Priest giving it to him was violating the law and David taking and eating it was him acting in disobedience to the law.

 

I Samuel 21. 6. So the priest gave him hallowed bread: for there was no bread there but the showbread, that was taken from before the Lord, to put hot bread in the day when it was taken away.
MATTHEW 12: 3. But he said unto them, Have ye not read what David did, when he was an hungered, and they that were with him;
4. How he entered into the house of God, and did eat the showbread, which was not lawful for him to eat, neither for them which were with him, but only for the priests?
5. Or have ye not read in the law, how that on the Sabbath days the priests in the temple profane the Sabbath, and are blameless?
6. But I say unto you, That in this place is one greater than the temple.
7. But if ye had known what this meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice, ye would not have condemned the guiltless.
Response
For me I cannot help but seeing something significant here: who gave David the bread? The high priest of God. Who in the OT was placed as intercessor between man and God---the high priest. Because the high priest was "blameless" in the sight of God, he could decide to do something against the ceremonial law for the good of a man.

 

In the NT, who is our high priest? Jesus Christ. What does He state concerning the use of marriage? Do we ever see Him "loosen" His intentions concerning marriage for mankind.......If we did see the high priest(Jesus) do so, you may have a point, yet I do not see that found in the NT----where Jesus "loosens" any of the moral laws due to sin. David did not sin by being hungry...........People do not sin by being lonely.........they CAN sin however due to actions stemming from hunger(stealing) or actions stemming from lonliness(adultery). I do not see anywhere in scripture where Jesus gives a piece of "showbread" (a temporary fix for hunger)to a person who is lonely due to a divorce/sinning spouse, etc. He does something much better though----He gives PEACE and COMFORT that surpasses all understanding and He give eternal HOPE.

 

Comment/question
What does "I desire mercy and not sacrifice" mean to you? In what areas are we supposed to apply this?
Response
It means the same thing as "Obedience is better than sacrifice"..........Many will offer up sacrifices to the Lord in many different forms, but will not obey Him in the hard thing He is commanding. He doesn't want the sacrifices as shown in Mal. 2.........

 

I am seriously not understanding why some demand "mercy" for the offended, but that same mercy is not willing to be applied towards the present offense. The thing is that we are called to forgive others as we have been forgiven. How much more so a covenant spouse----the one the LORD joined us to?

 

I also don't understand how it is that when we look truly at most troubled marriages, we find that the one presently "offended" many times is reaping what they themselves have sown into the marriage.............yet, they blame their spouse because somehow their sin is worse???? Now all of a sudden THEY have just cause for divorce and ultimately to find another? Can you explain that to me?

 

Comment/question
the law to love one another as Christ loves us. What reason would there be for a new commandment if we were still under the old?

 

Did Jesus' death on the cross not free us from all manner of bondage?
Response
The cross freed us from the bondage TO SIN, not to give us freedom to continue to walk in disobedience in regards to the Laws of God. Jesus very clearly in Luke 16:16-18 tells us what His mind is on covenant marriage............and He placed great emphasis on the "law" of God that does not change------marriage to another who is already married in the sight of God(irregardless of a divorce) is adultery. Immediately before addressing the laws of God that never change, Jesus spoke to the Pharisees who justify themselves before men, yet their hearts were an abomination to God.

 

For those who believe that obedience is "legalism", what do you make of this passage? Why is verse 18 stuck in there? Just a coincidence?

 

Comment/question
There are very very few spirit filled people around who have fully committed their lives to God and are able or willing to follow Christ's will. If they were, we might see more single workers for the kingdom.
So. now what????
Response
There needs to be a REVOLUTION in the churches ---otherwise, nothing will change, except that more and more sin will be allowed in the camp and we will become more and more desensitized to evil works of the flesh. If we SEE sin in our camps, it needs to be dealt with---that dealing with includes not only a change of mind towards that sin, but forsaking those sins we are guilty of---as that is the "fruit" of repentance.

 

In Ezra 9-10, there was a GREAT revolution. God's judgment was upon that nation because they had forsaken HIS commandments. Notice that His favor was not restored with confession of sorrow at having departed from HIS ways........it took ACTION on their parts to restore a right relationship with the Lord.

 

Read Mal. 2:6-17. There are many different things to point out in that passage, but take particular notice of verse 13----sorrow, weeping, etc do not satisfy the Lord. He rejects such. Yet, today, this is being taught in the churches as true repentance. Notice in verse 14 the wife of his youth IS the wife of covenant, not was........so now what. See in todays' church, it is taught that "ok, you did commit adultery when you remarried (many churches will admit this), now you need to acknowledge this to the Lord and from this point on, live for Him----treat this NEW wife as a covenant wife".......Is that what people take away from Mal. 2 as what will then satisfy the Lord and allow our "offerings" to be acceptable to Him?

 

Today, many in the churches are being taught and have examples set for them that they can disobey the commands of God and STILL get to keep the "fruit" of disobedience if they only are "sorry"........but they are not consistent in this teaching. Again, inconsistent application and hypocrisy rears it's head. If we steal something from work, confess it to our brethren........the counsel would be to return it. When we take someone else's wife or husband (adultery, in the Lord's sight), we say we can "keep" that which is STILL NOT OURS because we said "sorry". Why is the church using different weights and measures concerning sin and the application of true repentance? We know what the Lord says about such practices..........

 

There are many who are saying "do not judge", yet in I Cor. 5 we ARE told to judge WITHIN the camp. There are many who are saying "The Lord Jesus' Blood covers me if I am in adultery".......yet the Lord says, "For there are certain men crept in unawares, who were before of old ordained to this condemnation, ungodly men, turning the grace of our Lord into lasciviousness, and denying the only Lord God, and our Lord Jesus Christ. I will therefore put you in rememberance, though ye once knew this, how that the Lord, having saved the people out of Egypt, afterward destroyed them that believed not".......Jude verses 4-5.

 

And this: "I know thy works, and charity, and service, and faith, and thy patience, and thy works; and the last to be more than the first. Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed to idols, and I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not, Behold, I will cast her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds. and I will kill her children with death and all the churches shall know that I am he that searches the reins and hearts; and I will give unto every one of YOU according to your works..Rev. 2:19-23.

 

and this: For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication that every one of your should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour, not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God; That no man go beyond and DEFRAUD his brother in ANY manner; because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified.

 

How many in the "church" today are defrauding their brothers/sisters? Many are taking each others husbands and wives as their own.

 

If I have spoken falsely, may the Lord correct me and show me truth. But if I have spoken truly and in the Will of the Lord, may He open the eyes of the blind and help all of us to walk in accordance to His will for HIS glory. Amen.

 

Comment/question
If you in your judging cause one to give up or fall, guess what you also will be held accountable for that child falling.
Response
Truthfully, do you apply this reasoning to ALL sinful relationships? What if an elder told a man to quit his sin who had been conducting an extramarital affair for 20 years, had 5 children as a result of this relationship, etc...........and that caused the man great grief and turmoil? What if it caused him to stumble and "give up" on the Christian life? How about the homosexual couple who is legally married? They have 2 kids together. Appealing to them to repent of their sinful relationship would be a hard, hard thing, no? Would you counsel them to do such a thing?

 

Is ANYTHING to hard to give up when the Lord demands it? I don't believe so, for those who really love the Lord. Those who love Him and trust Him, will not "turn away" when what He speaks is too hard. Though they may cry and mourn what is asked of them (and maybe ignore what He asks at first), they have faith to know the Lord knows best...........they ultimately will Trust Him and follow. There is no other way for the one who is TRULY being conformed into His image.

 

Comment/question
Truthfully and quite honestly totally different circumstances, nothing you have said or quoted has proven your point about remarriage being continual "living in adultery". The above examples are clearly sinful behaviour. And yes I would counsel them to leave that sinful situation.
Response
Rom. 7:2-3, I Cor. 7:39. That is about as clearly laid out as anything. Paul gives the example of a woman who has remarried. He calls her an adulteress. He then says that she will be bound to her husband (the first one) until he dies...............THEN, she will be free to marry another. Death breaks the bond of marriage. Notice nowhere in that passage does Paul state divorce or adultery or remarriage ends the first marriage.

 

When Jesus says that to marry a divorced person is to commit adultery----by that very definition He is saying that if you marry someone, you are committing adultery with another person's husband/wife. Marriage then=adultery, not a God joined union. The very act of marriage in those cases is taking to yourself another man's wife/another woman's husband. If that relationship turns lawful sometime in the future, outside of the lawful spouse's death, wouldn't we see that somewhere?

 

Comment/question
However, you cannot convince me that God in all his wisdom did not know that that some christians would divorce and remarry and not provide for forgiveness in his grace.
God loves us and is looking for ways to bring us into fellowship not push us away. God is not looking for ways to keep us out of heaven as some on here would like to believe.....
Response
You have not shown how the adultery changes into a lawful marriage, honored by God. All we see in scripture is Jesus and Paul saying such relationships are sinful. You apply grace to them, but not other illicit relationships. I too believe that God is not trying to keep some out of heaven, but you are contradictory on how you apply His grace. He wants people to DEPART from illicit relationships-----all of them and come follow Him. His grace is sufficient. Jesus said His way was the "narrow" path and few would find it. Many have tried to make His way WIDE, but that is not biblically accurate. Just as many of the disciples turned away from Him (Jn. 6:65-68) when things got too hard to take, so it will be in this present age. Never did Jesus 'water down" truth to win souls to Himself. He spoke truth and those who wanted it, continued to follow Him. Those who thought what He taught/commanded was too hard, turned away.......
some indignant, some sad...........

 

Comment/question
Please stop the judging...

.

Answer this question from your heart, do you think God loves it when you judge others?
Response
God tells us to JUDGE each other-----those who call themselves "brother" and "sister", not the world though(I Cor. 5). What He tells us NOT to do is judge while we are in sinful situations ourselves (judging in hypocrisy in other words---Mt. 7). How we are to "judge" is with gentleness, longsuffering and the measuring stick of our judgments is THE WORD OF GOD---TRUTH. We are NOT to judge/apply judgments based upon emotion, personal situations which contradict God's Will for us, etc. Judging righteous judgment does not mean that one must first have to suffer a particular situation in order to know how rightly counsel with the mind/heart of God..........It means that when we judge, it is in perfect alignment with His Word----which shows us His heart/motivations concerning His commandments for those who say they are followers. Many of His commands may seem "unfair, hard to handle, etc", but He knows what WILL produce fruit for the kingdom's sake. The Lord, while He cares for our "earthly life", looks beyond that, desiring eternal rewards for those who follow Him.

 

Comment/question
It is erroneous for you to think that a person who is divorced (whether remarried or not) does not believe in "till death do us part." Again, you don't know all the facts.
Response
I'm sorry if I've given that impression. I've never stated that divorced people do not believe in "til death do us part". I happen to know many who are divorced that are "remaining unmarried" in hopes of reconciling with their wayward spouse (I Cor. 7:10-12). They do believe in "til death do us part".

 

Also, I would never think of someone as an adulterer/adulteress unless I knew all the facts of their marital history as well as their partner's history. Divorce and remarriage is SO common now, that one needs to know all the facts concerning Past marriages to know who really is "bound" to whom in the Lord's eyes. So many single people end up marrying divorced persons, against scriptural admonishments, that there now is a HUGE mess to untangle when one comes to the realization they are living in disobedience and sin---in the Lord's sight. It truly is heartbreaking to see and hear of all the situations out there.

 

Comment/question
I just hope those who experience this will be able to find their way out from under this spirits judgment and burdensome demands learning to really live according to God's spirit and according to His word.
Response
For those who love the Lord, it is not burdensome to stop committing adultery. Will it "hurt" to leave a relationship one is entangled in? I'm sure it will. However, when the Lord said my "burden is light" He meant that following Him will bring a peace, joy. It is when we refuse to release our bondages(sin) and try to cling on to them, that there is a "burden" felt........a pulling from both sides. When one lets Go and lets God be God in one's life, His burden is light. Those of us who speak against adultery, whether it be extramaritally or through a remarriage, desire those in this type of bondage to walk free in the Lord. Remaining/continuing in adultery is NOT walking in the Spirit. If I was in error/blindness, I would want someone to tell me. Later, after I repented, I would know that those who spoke truth to me were the ones who really LOVED me----by the Spirit.

 

Comment/question
You are in absolutely no place to judge anybody on the motives of their choices. They stand before the Lord. They are HIS servants and before HIM they will stand or fall not anybody else.
Response
"Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him; let him know that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way, shall save a soul from death and shall hide a multitude of sins."......James 5:6

Some of us believe this word spoken above and take it to heart greatly. Many of us spend much time here, not to argue, but to save any brethren who err--------because we care. It is the truth.

 

Comment/question
1 2 "Stop judging, that you may not be judged.
Everybody has sinned and comes short, even you. The difference is it's easy for you to point to other people's "sin" and not your own which may not be visible to the eye (but I sure do pick it up in your words). Just know, that how you have judge and condemned and guilted women or men to endure the sin against them and created fear of condemnation, please know that one day, the GOOD LORD above, will take that same measure of "mercy" and "grace" you gave to others when He is judging you. I hope you REALLY think about that and realize how profound that is. What a dangerous place to place ourselves in huh?

 

Where he had threatened my life and was restricted by the law to come even NEAR me for 6 months, he now is welcome in my home and we are at peace. No, we will not ever be married again or have a romantic relationship again, but if the above isn't forgiveness and reconciliation I'm not sure what it is.
Response
As for your assertion that I or (name deleted) is "judgmental" in an ungodly way, I believe you are very wrong about that----and cannot justify such a position against us using scripture to do so. Paul was very clear that the church IS to judge sin--------not to ignore it, because if we do, it will GROW (I Cor. 5). I think there is clear evidence of that truth in the rates of divorce/remarriage we are seeing today in the "church". Because the sin is being ignored, it is growing. Those who are calling sin sin, are now being labeled as "judgmental" in order to silence. It's a shame to see. Many of the quoted pastors of old would not even be welcome in many churches today because they dealt hard with sin---in the Body of Christ. Many today would label such preachers as Spurgeon, Whitfield, etc as "zealots"-------lacking Grace and being pharisaical because they called people from their sin.

 

Concerning the passages you posted from Matthew 7, they are dealing with HYPOCRISY, not the naming of sin. We are to FIRST get rid of the sin that besets us so that we can THEN, help those who are in sin. Jesus called the Pharisees ADULTERERS..........HYPOCRITES. They were guilty of the very sins they were accusing others of. Hypocrisy was what Jesus was dealing with in Matthew 7 and also brought forth the concept of repenting oneself so that we are in the position to help others. One who is caught up in sin can not be effective in helping another out of sin----the blind leading the blind..........or when such a one comes forth with "correction", they will be rebuked/rebuffed due to their own unrepented sin seen by all.

 

These are my thoughts on the discussing of what GOD says on the matter of divorce/remarriage is not being condemning: If one feels "condemned" due to another's belief on what scripture states, then I would say there may be conviction/confusion that needs to be looked into and not disregarded. I have heard many things (beliefs) in my Christian walk which did not line up with my own beliefs and I did/do not feel "condemned". I either am fully persuaded to the contrary due to my own deep study on the issue, or if I am not studied and feel "urged", I go to the Lord's Word and seek out the truth.

 

As to your belief of forgiveness and reconciliation/lack of reconciliation within a marital relationship, yes, we believe VERY differently. I view a refusal to reconcile with a spouse (a covenant spouse) WHO IS REPENTANT----as unforgiveness----and we all know what Jesus said about those who will not forgive others their debts. One can "package" their own form of reconciliation/forgiveness however they want to, but unless it is the type of forgiveness that the Lord extends, it is a facade.

 

Concerning covenant marriage, our views are quite difference, hence our view on reconciliation would be different as well, I suppose. You seem to view marriage as something that "should be lifelong"...........I view marriage as truly being lifelong, no matter what(" for better/worse/sickness(mental or physical)/health/richer/poorer-----til death do us part"). That's why I view refusal to reconcile with a truly repentant spouse as unforgiveness towards the spouse and rebellion against the Lord. It seems many choose to "forgive" according to their own understanding/desires on how forgiveness should be lived out with the other half of the "ONE FLESH".


For those who do not claim to know Jesus, this conduct I understand. What I don't understand is when I see it coming from those who profess to love the Lord dearly with all their heart, but who refuse to EVER reconcile with the one the Lord joined them to----even if they SEE a huge change in their spouse. That mindset I don't understand in a Christian.

 

Comment/question
I think we need to remember that divorce is not always a sin, but marriage while a spouse/ex-spouse lives is sin.
Response
I'd have to say because of the way most look at divorce(not as a separation, but as a dissolving of the marriage bond), I could never counsel anyone to divorce. I do believe separation may be necessary in some cases. I also want to say that I do not believe all who are divorced are in sin for the divorce, so I hope I have not given that impression. Many do not want to be divorced, yet their spouses divorced them anyways. Some, after a divorce end up repenting of their sins and wish for reconciliation, but the offended spouse refuses to reconcile. That is so sad to me.

 

As you said, which I am in agreement----remarriage is what I have issue with. I can't see any way biblically for someone to remarry without committing adultery while having a living spouse. What God joins together remains such until one of the parties dies.

 

Comment/question
Again, I say, I hate when we lump every DIVORCEE as an adulterer. That's not what Christ taught.
Response
I don't think any of us lumps all divorcees as adulterers, because they are not. The only ones who would be adulterers in the Lord's eyes according to HIS Word, are those who join themselves with others while they have a living covenant spouse. That point was being discussed in the previous posts. In Mt. 5:32, the GUILTY (the one divorced for marital infidelity) is STILL not released to be join with another. Why? Because the covenant of marriage stands until one of the marriage partners die (Rom. 7:2-3, I Cor. 7:39).

 

Comment/question
Ok, here we go again lumping all divorcee/remarried folks as being without love, etc.
There is no place here for those who left abusive/violent spouses to protect themselves as much as is possible. you're even lumping folks with the Pharisee.
Response
No, I don't lump all people together. Some divorcees had divorce forced on them by spouses who were unforgiving and hardhearted. Some divorced out of safety need, but know they are bound til death to the one God joined them to. Some divorce and then remarry out of ignorance. They simply do not know the scriptures and go by whatever seems accepted by the masses and their pastors. They don't go to the Word and to the Lord in prayer for themselves, they trust their lives in the hands of others. They receive BAD counsel, counsel that appeases the "flesh"-----for a time. The thing is that appeasing the flesh is what the Pharisees sought to do-----they couldn't/wouldn't see that this was what they were doing, just as many today do not have eyes to see that they too are going the path of the Pharisee.

 

The Pharisees wanted to sin and justify it with the law. The Standers are wanting to see their spouses repent, because they LOVE and desire the family that GOD gave them. Do you see them justifying something they want to do using the "law" to do so? Or do you see them walking in the Spirit, LOVING and desiring the repentance of those who are in error----even though they are reviled by their spouses, mocked, and in some cases even put out of their church? Seems to me such peoples are seeking to do the Will of the Father concerning their marriages and are suffering for righteousness' sake.
Comment/question
The One-flesh doctrine as you interpret it is the same context as when Prayed that his disciples would be one like he and the father are one. I have told you that there are many, many church folks who are living as divorced (and have been for years) but refused to be accused of divorcing. One lives in separate state/house/town with no hope/desire to reconcile. And you've no answer for this and this is good/better than actually being divorced???
Response
Yes, it is better than being divorced. The reason they don't divorce because they KNOW it is wrong in the sight of God...........and they don't want to go ALL the way in their sin(even if they don't realize that is what they are doing, deep down inside). Probably in the back of their minds they wonder if possibly something will happen-----either the death of their spouse(freeing them) and in some cases hoping one of them will change and become a Godly person. Whatever the case is, not divorcing IS a good thing, because the "world" says, "you're divorced, you can move on now"..........but something in many of them says otherwise.

 

I really don't understand what your point is here, though. Did you expect me to say that just because a person's heart is not right IN a marriage, then it is better for them to depart their marriage? I don't understand that reasoning-----at all.

 

Comment/question
If scripture says that someone is committing adultery, then the most loving thing you can do is tell them and encourage them to repent. To comfort someone in rebellion against God is the most hateful thing a person can do.
Response
I agree because that is what scripture teaches.

 

BROTHER, if any of YOU do err from the truth, and one convert him; let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of h is way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins. (James 5:19-20)

 

Comment/question
All they want is a little peace on this side of heaven.
Response
Many times we find "war" because we ourselves are in rebellion. We falsely assume we can find "peace" with a person---so we seek those who do not yet "push our buttons"........notice I say "YET". TRUE Peace is only found with God. That is the only peace worth having on this side of heaven.
Comment/question
Where is the compassionate Lord here??? Is he not the same yesterday, today and forever. Did he lose compassion for suffering people after Christ and say we need to learn to suffer some MORE???
Response
The higher way is to seek OTHERS good...........not one's own. I'm sure many of those who separated/divorced their covenant spouses are not the only ones suffering. Many of the "left" spouses are suffering as well as the children whose family has been ripped apart................yet, the focus many times remains on "self".........not the children, not the other spouse, not the other person in the picture and God's best for them.........it is purely "SELF". Is this God? I dont' believe so.
Comment/question
This is again a blatant sweeping generality. These families are torn apart long before the divorce. Some houses are war zones inside and divorce finally brings peace.
Response
You are correct in that there is a separation of sorts when there is "war" in the home. I understand the mindset that divorce brings peace, but as Blessed says, REAL peace comes from obeying the voice of the Lord. If the Lord states that if a woman departs, her options are to remain unmarried or be reconciled........if she does otherwise, she will be in sin. Divorce does not equal dissolving of the marriage (as we see in I Cor. 7:10-11)-----hence the "unmarried" statement.

 

I have noticed many times that people say "if a man WAS saved, he wouldn't do such and such"----thus they say that such a person is NOT saved----- and so they use I Cor. 15 to enter into another marriage(which Paul never gave permission for in the first place).

 

The thing is that Paul did acknowledge that there will be times when CHRISTIANS(real or just professing) can not dwell together, hence the acknowledgment that reconciliation MAY not occur..........that does not however, waive the previous commandment to "remain unmarried".......

 

You are correct in that there is a separation of sorts when there is "war" in the home. I understand the mindset that divorce brings peace, but as Blessed says, REAL peace comes from obeying the voice of the Lord. If the Lord states that if a woman departs, her options are to remain unmarried or be reconciled........if she does otherwise, she will be in sin. Divorce does not equal dissolving of the marriage (as we see in I Cor. 7:10-11)-----hence the "unmarried" statement.

I have noticed many times that people say "if a man WAS saved, he wouldn't do such and such"----thus they say that such a person is NOT saved----- and so they use I Cor. 15 to enter into another marriage(which Paul never gave permission for in the first place).

 

The thing is that Paul did acknowledge that there will be times when CHRISTIANS(real or just professing) can not dwell together, hence the acknowledgment that reconciliation MAY not occur..........that does not however, waive the previous commandment to "remain unmarried".......

 

Comment/question
Well you know what? When someone wants to justify their disobedience to Christ's teaching, they conveniently leave out the very words of Christ, words like "except for immorality".
Response
love suffers long...........love seeks not its own.........love bears all things, believes all things, hopes in all things, endures all things..............

 

LOVE NEVER FAILS (I Cor. 13)

 

When we look for an "out"............we must ask ourselves this: concerning an erring spouse..........are we LOVING them by any actions taken against them(ie; divorce to "free" ourselves and in our hearts the desire to hook up with another)? Are we loving our neighbor(covenant spouse/parent of our children) as ourself, because if we truly are a Christian, this IS what we are called to do----LOVING to the point of sacrificing/putting down our own "wants"?

 

On the other side of the coin, if we became entrenched in sin(ensnared by the devil), would we want others in our lives to slam the door shut on us, forever changing the nature of our relationship.........OR would we be ever so thankful for those who LOVED us through our sin, praying for us, weeping for us, WAITING for us to repent and come home?

 

Which type of "love" reflects the love of Christ? It's not a hard thing to discern........

 

Ps. I have seen the "fruit" of those who have LOVED through adultery............the husband left home, moved away with the other woman..............and she stood fast, loving her husband from afar.............he eventually came back to the "light" and came back home. They now have a beautiful ministry and marriage------their story correctly represents the LOVE of Christ to those around them. She didn't "replace" her sinning husband, she wanted to be like Jesus and wanted her family WHOLE, so she loved, prayed, and waited. Jesus died for us yet WHILE WE WERE SINNERS.............He didn't wait til we cleaned up our act to love us, He loved us Through our sin, and then we came to LOVE HIM because He loved us.................

 

Comment/question
And divorce is not an indication of sin on the part of the divorced. There are some very married people who are immoral. There are some very divorced people who did no wrong in their marriage.
Response
 I think I've made it clear in previous threads, (name deleted), that some who are divorced, it was out of necessity of safety, etc. However, the divorce did not dissolve what God joined together, it merely, in the sight of God, is a separation of bed and board for a time, or for some unfortunately, it is permanent(I Cor. 7:10-11).
Comment/question
And sometimes, He grows us through fire. We are not grown through complacency and peace. God knows that we grow closer to Him and grow in our faith when it is tested. And some of us have done that growing. And because I TRULY belong to the Lord, I have not been content with simple milk of Scripture for decades. I go after the meat of Scripture and a deeper walk. And I yearn to understand not only the surface of His Word, but its length and depth and breadth.
Response
We must be very sure that we do not go around the fire, but through it. Many think that God spares them from the fire (or they think they may get singed, but they do not have to go through it). Real kingdom rewards come from ENDURING, not cutting and running, seeking a "better" life in the here and now. If God has allowed suffering in our lives, there is reason. Many do not want to endure suffering, but to have it end as soon as possible so they can "get on with their lives" in a way THEY deem "good". They do not realize that what they are doing WILL effect their eternal destiny as well as the eternal destinies of others. We are to be kingdom minded, not earthly minded------IF we are true believers. The "fruit" of divorce/remarriage in the confessing "church" shows me...................and the world, what we are seeking after and it's not of benefit to the kingdom of God.
Comment/question
No, deep down in our hearts those of us that have suffered from divorce, and especially those that were not of our own doing, know that it is horrible, painful, and to be avoided if at all possible. It is not right that at times one spouse acts immorally and victimizes the other spouse. It is right if that victim seeks their own protection. And it is right that God sees the believer through to the other side and their faith has grown because of the experience.
Response
See, I don't see anything wrong in most this part of your post. It is truth. What is not truth is thinking that one is "free" to move on to other relationships when GOD has not dissolved the marriage one was in. To me, if one does move on, they have NOT got to the other side. Those who have made it to the "other side" see the offender in the marriage as God does (and they also see their own sin which may have had a part in the other's sin). And if one does truly get to the other side, leaving that spouse and moving on is the farthest thing from their mind. What is on their mind is to LOVE them as Jesus loves the "offended" one...........or as He loves any of us(while we were YET sinners). As (name deleted) has said, Jesus goes after the LOST sheep..............he doesn't get a "new sheep" and say, "well, that was just one rebellious, sinful sheep. Think I'll get a newer/better one that will honor my shepherding better"..............If Jesus is not like that, and we claim to have Jesus IN US, why would we think it good to do other than He would do?

 

See, this is where I think you don't get it. I don't believe scripture ANYWHERE in the NT gives a believer RIGHTS not to be offended, sinned against, ect. What we ARE called to do is to LOVE those who offend us, hurt us, use us, treat us poorly, etc. Many in the Christian camp counsel others to love and forgive, but DO NOT do so concerning one's own spouse! That I just cannot reconcile with scripture. As I said, for a "Christian" to walk away from a marriage and move on leaves a horrible picture to the children of the marriage on the sanctity of marriage and sows seeds in them for the future in which THEY will be able to justify divorce instead of loving their spouses through their own personal sins..........................and I think I can CONFIDENTLY say:

 

THIS generation is reaping the destruction of family due to the PREVIOUS Generation's disregard for marriage............hence divorce is growing..................and in response to this, many people are now choosing rather to live in sin (fornication) rather than be one of the divorce statistics. It's all very sad and every single one of us has been negatively affected.

 

For some of the divorced/remarried, life may not seem so complicated. For most though, their lives are VERY complicated. I know because I read the posts here. The anger at the finances of the second family because the father has to pay for his first children.........anger at the "other" parent because they aren't parenting as good as the "replacement" parent, kids that resent the step-parent and what the step-parent should do, etc, etc. What a MESS!!! And when all the kids grow up, then the problems start of where to visit, when to visit, whom to invite, whom not to invite...............again, WHAT A MESS!

 

and still, you think it's good..............as long as the "i's" are dotted and "t's" crossed..........I don't understand that viewpoint at all---------and as I said, can't reconcile it with scripture, at all.

 

Comment/question
So are you saying you do not condemn those that truly believe that they are personally led to marry another?
Response
Neither you nor I have the power to "condemn" anyone. Sharing what one believes to be sin is not "condeming".............it very much is a loving thing to do as there are eternal consequences for continuing in adultery. (james 5:19-20)

 

Comment/question
The Pharisees liked to add to the law too... So they could appear Holier than the "sinners"....

 

Take the Word in context - in entirety.
Response
The Pharisees wanted to expand God's law on marriage so they could SIN MORE, not so they could appear more holy. Jesus clearly shows that their looking for "loopholes" showed where their hearts were..........and their hearts were NOT looking to do the Will of God, but to feed their flesh/emotions/etc.

 

Comment/question