I was married young to my covenant husband at 22 years old. We fornicated and shacked up for 6 years, had a child out of wedlock and one the way when we decided to get married. Our relationship was very rocky when we got married and I knew we should have waited but I had too much pride.
I was raised without my a father and I didn't want my children to go through the same thing. 2 wks before the wedding, he didn't want to go through with the wedding and I was so prideful. I had already informed people and was worried about embarrassment. I figured if it didn't work, I could just divorce. At least I tried, so I thought. I also didn't know how to live without him for he was all I knew.So we got married and it seemed to instantly get worse. I mean bad! We were married in May 2010 and by November 2010 we were separated. For about 2 1/2 more years, we went back and forth. Our marriage was a mess. We didn't live for God. We argued over everything! We never saw eye to eye, always pointing fingers. I never honored him as a husband. I stayed depressed and angry. It was a mess. I finally decided I was done.
I started talking to another man, flying and seeing him and doing my own thing. My heart had turned so hard towards my husband. After the first guy, I met another man. We had the "perfect" relationship. He was everything my flesh desired. I tossed my covenant husband aside and I treated him like trash. I found this new guy that gave me my hearts desire. I was always told and thought I was justified to remarry. I saw no wrong in what I was doing and eventually married this man. Well 2 days after I got married, I was sitting in my room alone and heard "Are you sure you did the right thing?" I began thinking to myself "Of course I did" This man and I weren't shacking up anymore, I felt we were great together, I was prepared for a future with him. Hearing that caught me off guard and I looked up on Google " is it ok to remarry after a divorce?"
I clicked on a link and saw Mark 10:11-12 for the first time( 11 So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery”).
I was so convicted. It was a horrible feeling! I had never seen this and always thought I could remarry. I was sick. Literally for 3 days. I began reaching out for counsel to family, friends, pastors, co workers. They ALL reassured me that I was ok. My cousin suggested I begin reading the book of John. I did and eventually got to chapter 11 that spoke about the death of Lazarus. I knew the Lord was speaking to me through this and read the chapter and certain verses over and over. I finally realized it was time for me to die to self and live for Christ. I closed my eyes and said "Lord please kill my flesh". There was a quickening in my chest. I had no idea what had happened but knew something happened in that moment. I thought,"Whoa, what was that?" I was still and quiet and heard," I am in you and you are in Me. Do not be afraid for I am with you. Go and sin no more."
I broke down crying and praising the Lord! It was so amazing! I then looked at the wall of a picture of the new husband and I and heard," You're going to have to leave him to get to where I am taking you and you know this. Leave him now. Leave him, leave him, leave him." I was shocked and confused at hearing this. I told people about my experience but wasn't sure about the second part. I was conflicted. I tried to continue as a happily newlywed but I had no peace at all no matter what people said. I was so confused. It was a serious spiritual battle. It was torture. I was lead to fasting, praying and studying for weeks. I had to know the truth. I would think I was ready to leave the marriage and then I would get confused again. The Lord never left me and kept showing me in His word the truth on divorce and remarriage marriage. He is so merciful. I finally felt I knew the truth and we began making plans to separate.
We were married in October 2015 and I filed for divorce after 3 months. My family, friends, co workers and associates thought I was making a huge mistake. Let me tell you, outside opinions can deter you! I decided I did not care about opposition and that I would be obedient!
So here I am, standing for my covenant marriage! I was a hard hearted women. The woman who left the father of her youth as stated in scripture. An adulterous and selfish woman. I'm a woman who divorced my covenant husband, met a man that gave me the world, got remarried and now I'm standing! This is the doing of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! HALLELUJAH! He convicts and brings people to repentance. Only He can make a heart of stone into flesh! Only He could do this! I thank God so very much for His grace and mercy! Even in my sin, He loved me enough to pull me out of my sinful lifestyle and give me another chance! There are no words to describe how amazing the Lord is! I am forever grateful!
So let this be my testimony to you. That God is real, He can do all things and no matter how far gone it may look, God can work a miracle in the heart of your spouse! Hold on, be encouraged and believe! No matter what it looks like, no matter how painful, no matter how difficult it may be, we must die to self, carry our cross and be obedient! God is faithful and He will see us through! Amen!
Marriage is a binding, lifelong covenant between one man and one woman. If a spouse passes away then the widow may marry another widow or another person that has never been married before, but only in the Lord.
Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18, Romans 7 2-3, 1 Corinthians 7: 10-11, 1 Corinthians 7: 39, Matthew 19: 9, Matthew 5:32.